I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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