Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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