Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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