I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
