Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
