watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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