Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
