Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
