there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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