Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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