Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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