If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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