No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
