Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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