No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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