Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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