In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
