Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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