He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My ass is underappreciated
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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