He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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