just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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