Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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