when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize