Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
