dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
