You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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