He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My ATM looks so different sober.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
