are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Damn victory sex feels great
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
