he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
