he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
