He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
