So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
wow bdsm is so cute
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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