I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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