You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
