We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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