you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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