ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
