Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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