You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
