don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
