its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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