is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
