Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
