It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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