He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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