My girlfriend figured out who you are.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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