the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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