Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
