problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
