i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
