They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize