it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
