i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
