Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
