Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
