But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
