His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
