Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
