Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
