Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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