the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize