dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize