i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
this hospital has no fireball
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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