He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
ok first of all what the fuck
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