this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
