I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Even my vagina gasped.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
