Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
