Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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