As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize