I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
